Finn and Blaine's Adventure In Running Errands
by particularly good finder
Summary: Kurt's been planning Rachel's birthday party for ages, and nothing can go wrong. But he can trust Finn and Blaine to run a few simple errands for him, can't he?


"Okay, Finn, I'm heading over to the Berry house. Her dads have taken her out to Columbus to see a show, and Mercedes and I will set up before they get back." Kurt was loading the back of his car with decorations and Tupperware containers of party food. "I need you to go pick up the cake and her present. The instructions are on that notepad I gave you." The small boy stopped to think for a minute. "On second thought, Blaine, can you go with him?

Blaine looked up from his spot inside of Kurt's trunk, where he had trapped himself arranging boxes and containers. "Um, sure."

Finn pouted. "You don't trust me?"

Kurt patted his arm absentmindedly, checking to make sure he had everything as Blaine climbed out of the trunk. "Of course I do. I just don't trust you to pick up the right things."

"True." Finn didn't seem to take offense from that.

Kurt seemed to be content with his supplies, so he turned to the two boys beside him. "Alright. Artie's setting up the music, Tina and Mike are bringing boardgames, and Puck is supplying booze for after Rachel's dads leave. None for you, Blaine Warbler," he said, scowling. Blaine blushed.

"Don't worry, Kurt. Everything will be fine." Finn shrugged, giving him a half-smile.

The smaller boy bit his lip. "Finn, Rachel is your girlfriend. And Blaine, she's practically your hag. This party is really important to me, and it will be really important to her. Please don't screw this up."

Blaine smirked. "Kurt Hummel, I am offended that you think I won't take this seriously. Stop worrying; Finn and I are capable of picking a couple things up."

Kurt looked abashed, and hugged his boyfriend tightly. "I'm sorry. I trust both of you with my life. I'm just-"

"Stressed," the other two answered in unison. Finn continued, "We know. Just go, already. We got this."

Kurt grinned, pecked Blaine on the lips, then jumped in his car, pulling out of the driveway reluctantly. Finn wrapped an arm around Blaine's shoulder, waving to his stepbrother.

"Alright…I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do." Blaine laughed at the taller boy, heading inside.

"Don't worry, Finn. We just have to get a cake and a present that Kurt put on hold. It'll be easy."

They walked into the kitchen, grabbing Kurt's notepad for them. Blaine studied the directions, then grabbed his phone and car keys. "Here," he said, tossing them to Finn. "You drive."

Finn beamed. "Awesome! Where to first?"

Blaine turned off the lights and they both headed back outside. "Lucy's Cakes. Kurt – after much persuasion – ordered a red velet cake for Rachel. You know, the one on First and Nixon?"

Finn hopped into the driver's seat of Blaine really, _really_ awesome car, grinning. "Gotcha!"

They sped away, Blaine biting his lip at how quickly Finn was driving. The car flew down the road and into town. Blaine popped in his Lady Gaga CD, curly hair blowing in the wind from the open windows.

By the time they reached Lucy's Cakes, Blaine had sung himself hoarse and Finn nearly ran three different red lights. They parked on the street and strolled into the cake shop, laughing at some joke Finn had told.

"Can I help you boys?" An elderly woman smiled at them from behind the counter. Blaine sauntered up to her, charm just oozing from his skin.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, leaning against the glass case tenderly. "We're here to pick up a cake for my friend's girlfriend." He pointed at Finn, who was lurking awkwardly in the background. "It should be paid for already – it's under the name Kurt Hummel."

The woman grinned. "Oh, of course! What a lovely cake it is, too. Quite proud of myself." Blaine beamed at her, throwing some complimentary words her way as she scurried into the back room. Finn moved to stand next to Blaine, staring at the other cakes. The old woman – Lucy, presumably – came back out, and set a pink box in front of the boys.

"Here it is, the masterpiece of the week!" She opened the lid, and Finn's face lit up. It was _perfect_. The cake was covered in white icing, with shimmery gold stars scattered across it (was that glitter _edible_?) and _Happy Birthday Rachel_ sprawled across it in bright pink letters.

"She'll love it!" Finn exclaimed, clapping Blaine on the shoulder. Blaine nodded in agreement. Lucy gave them an excited smile.

"I'm glad. I had lots of fun working on this one." A man with a small child walked through the door, setting off the chimes. "Oh, well, I need to take their order. You two lovely gentlemen have a nice day, all right? And give Miss Rachel my regards."

The boys left the shop, chatting happily about the cake and the party and Rachel. An old, weathered homeless man sat on the corner, holding out a foam cup to the boys.

"Spare change?" He asked, voice cracking. Both boys searched their pockets, but found nothing.

"I'm sorry, sir," Blaine said, frowning. "We don't have any."

The man got angry very quickly. "You liar!" Finn jumped backwards. "I see that fancy-ass car of yours! You got money shitting out of your ass! Give a little to a fellow in need!"

Blaine's face was white. "I'm serious, I don't have any change on me. Just my card."

The man just grew angrier. "Now you're just flaunting it in my face!" Blaine tried to protest, but this man –this crazy, unstable man – kept yelling. "Just like you're flaunting your damn homosexuality!"

"Am I really that obvious?" Blaine muttered to Finn while the man ranted. Finn shrugged.

"I don't know – compared to Kurt, you look as straight as a board."

"He has a keen gaydar for a bigot," Blaine commented, ignoring the crazy old man, who was now brandishing a walking stick.

"What did you call me?" The homeless man poked Blaine in the chest, growling a little. Blaine held his ground.

"A bigot, because you _are_ one."

"YOU DAMN GAY AND YOUR SUPERIOR ATTITUDE! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL-"

Finn grabbed Blaine's arm, tucking the cake beneath the other. "Run."

The two boys sprinted down the street towards the car, the homeless man following after them. "COME BACK HERE, YOU QUEER-O-SEXUALS! AND GIVE ME SOME DAMN MONEY!"

"Oh, _shit_!" Finn yelled, tossing the cake to Blaine. The smaller boy caught it deftly, upping his pace. Finn sprinted ahead, sliding across the hood of Blaine's car and unlocking the door. They both jumped in, and Finn fumbled to start the engine.

"Crap, Finn, hurry!" Blaine yelled, clutching tightly at the pink box. "He's almost here!"

The engine roared to life, and Finn pulled into the street with a squeal of the tires. They sped down the street, the angry old man getting smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.

"Oh my God…" Finn breathed, eyes wide. Blaine clutched his chest, setting the cake on the back seat.

"Well…that was interesting."

Finn nodded. "You can say that again. So where are we going now?"

A little bit of color returned to Blaine's face. "Um, Francesca's. It's that little boutique on Main Street. It's just a couple blocks over from here."

"Cool." The silence between them was filled with Lady Gaga and the sounds of the road, and soon they were both singing along, pulling up in front of the store. This time, Blaine ran in to pick up the gift – a special-order dress that Kurt had spent weeks picking out – while Finn stayed in the car. He drummed his hands on the steering wheel, alert for the presence of any more crazy old homeless men.

A tap sounded on his window, and Finn jumped so far in the air he hit his head on the roof of the car. Looking over, he saw Puck and Santana looking suspicious and manipulative (but what was new?).

Finn rolled down the window. "What's up, guys? Pumped for the party?"

Puck shrugged. "Yeah, sure, whatever. We need you to do a favor for us, Finn."

"What?" Finn asked cautiously. Santana smirked.

"We need you to transport the booze for us? Noah's mom pulled a bitch move and hid his car keys and my car's in the shop. And there is no way in _hell_ that I'm carrying around all these bottles by myself."

Finn frowned. "How did you even get those?" Both teens were carrying large, suspicious dufflebags.

Puck winked. "Not important. But it would be majorly cool if you would just pop the trunk of this fancy-ass car and do the dirty work for us. Rachel would appreciate it."

Finn was sold. He opened up the back door, letting them pile the bags on the floor next to the cake. Just as soon as they had appeared, Puck and Santana disappeared, shouting something about the "fun night ahead" or something. Finn just wanted to make Rachel happy, even if he had to illegally cart booze around.

"Got it!" Blaine called, walking out of Francesca's. "Kurt has wonderful taste; Rachel's going to love this dress!"

Finn nodded, and began the long drive to Rachel's house. Blaine pumped up the music, whipping his head back and forth. The illegal goods in the backseat were all but forgotten.

Five minutes down the highway towards Rachel's neighborhood, though, Finn pulled over to the side of the road, looking confused. Blaine lifted his head.

"Why are we- is that Brittany?"

Standing on the side of the road, thumb sticking out, was Brittany Pierce. In her free arm was a large, unhappy-looking cat wearing a party hat.

Blaine rolled the window down. "Um, Brittany. Do you need a ride?"

The blonde grinned. "Yes! I tried to walk to Rachel's house, but I got lost."

Finn unlocked the door. "Hop in, Britt."

She bit her lip. "Lord Tubbington gets carsick in the back seat."

Finn sighed, and Blaine was close to laughing. "Here, Lord…um, your cat can sit in the front. I'll sit in the back with you."

Brittany beamed, bouncing the obese cat happily. "Oh, thank you! Come on, Tubs. Let's get you buckled up."

Blaine hopped into the backseat, shortly joined by Brittany. The blonde girl sat as close to him as she could, pecking him on the cheek. "Thank you, Blaine Warbler. Lord Tubbington appreciates it."

Blaine smiled back at her. "No problem, Birttany. Don't want cat barf all over my car, do I?"

Britt shook her head. "You know, Mr. Warbler, you have very pretty eyes."

Finn gagged, but kept driving, ignoring the looks of despise Lord Tubbington was giving him. The cat just stared at the driver, its only movement the rise and fall of its breathing.

"So, are excited for the party, Brittany?" Blaine asked politely, clasping his hands together. The blonde nodded.

"Santana said we're going to do body shots. I like body shots." Finn made a choking sound, while Blaine just laughed good-naturedly.

"Sounds like fun, Britt."

She smiled wickedly. "You'll like doing body shots off of Kurt. Trust me."

It was Blaine's turn to choke, while Finn's face turned bright red. "Um, what?" Blaine managed to ask. Britt didn't seem perturbed.

"Oh, you know. Kurt's abs are so nice and all. And his skin is so soft. I'd love to do body shots off of him, but he'd get mad at me."

Blaine crossed his legs uncomfortably, and Brittany just started dancing along to the Lady Gaga. Finn sped along, trying to ignore the mental image of his brother shirtless and covered in tequila.

"Oh, shit," he muttered, noticing red and blue lights in the side mirror. "Crap, guys. I'm getting pulled over."

"Oh, no!" Blaine cried, sinking into his seat.

"It's the po-po!" Brittany shrieked, covering her face with her hands. "They are so prejudiced against cats like Tubs. We'll get a ticket for sure."

The car pulled to a stop, all the inhabitants (except for Lord Tubbington) freaking out. Finn rolled down the window, hands shaking.

A tubby police officer waltzed up to the side of the car, pulling his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose.

"Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" Finn was trembling. Blaine sunk further back into his seat.

"Please don't arrest me! I'm late to my girlfriend's party and this cat is plotting my death and we already got chased by an angry homeless man and please! I'm too young to go to jail!"

The officer just blinked. "Look, kid-"

Finn wasn't finished. "And then my girlfriend's going to dump me because she refuses to associate with criminals and being in jail would make me a criminal and we just got back together and this party is really important to her and Kurt – crap, Kurt's going to kill me! He's my stepbrother and he planned the entire party and when he doesn't get his way he gets scary and now I'm going to die and _that damn cat hasn't stopped staring at me since I started driving_!"

Finn collapsed against the steering wheel, panting. The officer looked vaguely concerned.

"Um, look kid. I don't wanna give you an aneurysm or anything…just…drive more carefully, okay?" Finn looked up, nodding. "And, um…try getting some tonight. Does wonders for stress." The man fished through his pockets, pulling out his wallet. From the wallet he produced two condoms, passing them to Finn discreetly. "Just be safe, kid. Now get out of here before I give you a ticket."

Finn nodded weakly as the police officer walked away. Blaine let out the breath he had been holding. Brittany's mouth hung open.

"Blaine…" Finn said, voice quiet. "There's illegal booze right next to your feet."

The hobbit-sized boy closed his eyes, body shaking a little. Finn decided it was best to drive (ten under the speed limit) while his brother's boyfriend cooled down.

"Finn…" Blaine said, voice shaking. "I might have to kill you."

"Understandable," Finn muttered, taking the exit towards Rachel's neighborhood. "If Kurt doesn't beat you to it."

"You look tense, Blaine Warbler. Let me help you with that." Brittany reached over, rubbing the boy's shoulders.

Blaine smiled. "Thanks, Britt, but I'm okay."

Brittany scooted closer, resting her legs in Blaine's lap. "No, really, let me help you. Your shoulder's are so muscular."

The shorter boy cleared his throat awkwardly. "Um, Britt- MMGPH!"

Finn looked back to see Brittany suddenly straddling Blaine, her lips attacking his. She worked quickly, overpowering Blaine. He tried to push her off, but just grabbed her breasts by accident. Finn howled with laughter as they pulled up to Rachel's house.

"MMMG- FINN! HELP ME!" Blaine called out, trying to pry Brittany off of him. Finn reached back to pull Brittany off of his brother's boyfriend, but Lord Tubbington sprung from his seat, latching onto Finn's chest.

"OW!" Finn stumbled out of the car, falling back against the driveway. "HELP!"

Kurt came running from the house, Mercedes following. In a swift motion Kurt pulled Lord Tubbington from his brother's chest, handing him off to Mercedes, who carried the fat thing into the house.

Blaine stumbled out of the backseat into Kurt's arms, burying his face in his boyfriend's neck. "That was the most traumatizing experience of my life," he whined. Kurt cooed, stroking his boyfriend's hair.

"I know, I know – Finn and Brittany can be very stressful to be around." He kissed Blaine's lips, smile fading quickly. "Why do you taste like root beer?"

Blaine blushed. "Well…"

Kurt turned towards Brittany, who was climbing out of the backseat. "Brittany!" He snapped, hands on his hips. "Have you been macking on my man?"

The blonde shrugged. "He was stressed out. I guess it didn't work." She leaned in. "Maybe you should let him do body shots off you. That would definitely relax him."

She winked, then skipped after Mercedes and Lord Tubbington. Finn slowly picked himself off the ground, shakily walking over to a blushing Kurt and Blaine.

"I'm going to kill that cat," he said, eyes wide. Blaine scowled at him.

"I'm going to kill _you_. And whoever gave you the booze."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm going to kill both of you if you don't assure me that you completed your assigned tasks."

"Don't worry, Kurt," Blaine said. "We got everything done. But it wasn't easy."

Finn nodded. "No wonder you didn't trust me to do it on my own."

Kurt giggled into Blaine's cheek as he pressed a kiss there. "My silly boys. Come on – this party won't prepare itself."

The three of them headed towards the house when Brittany stuck her head out the door.

"Kurt, Tubs got into the cheese dip. I tried to tell him to wait for the other guests, and he felt so bad that he threw it back up into the bowl. Is it still good to eat? I brush his teeth every night!"

Kurt's face darkened. "Next time, leave her at home. Please."


End file.
